I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
