your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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