So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize