I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
