Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
