i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
