Christians are straight up FREAKS
We won't sleep together?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
