how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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