i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize