Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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