we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
