Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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