I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
