The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
