I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize