let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
