I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
