nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so let's talk penis.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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