if i can run in heels then i can drive
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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