the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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