Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
