I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
