Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have tasted many bathrooms
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
