He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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