So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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