Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up under a house in Key West
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