I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
