i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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