oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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