we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
