I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize