Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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