she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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