then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.