Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.