She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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