is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
