it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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