Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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