what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
