So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
