If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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