I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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