just survived the first fart of the relationship.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
