i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
