ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
