Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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