is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
