never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
