you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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