the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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