"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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