They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
