Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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