You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's never too late to be topless.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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