Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
