margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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