Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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