I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
