I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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