spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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