Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yo dont text me then not text me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize