Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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