Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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