and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
