I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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